thecatinahat | (no subject)

He grabs at her so suddenly that she yelps in surprise, her eyes flying open only to wind up muffled by the kiss he presses to her lips. It's firm, and fervent, and so fiercely passionate that she can tell he's struggling with his words, so she lets herself melt into his embrace as a substitute for any flowery phrase anyone else might try and pull out. It's enough for her that she's pleased him, that he doesn't find the tattoos too much or too weird, that he's happy that she's finally on the same page as him.

He deserves to be happy.

"Carlos," she chides breathlessly when he drifts down to her neck and sets to sucking a livid hickey into her skin. "You're giving them more fodder for their betting pool." Them, of course, meaning Roque and Pooch and Clay. She doesn't mind that much, though, as she doesn't try to pull him off or squirm away, just curls her fingers in his hair and tips her chin back, baring her throat to him.

He doesn't know how to do this. His fingers tighten against the fabric of her shirt as he bears in and kisses her all the harder, burying his face in the warmth of her neck as he tries to understand what he can say, how he can get the words out. Before, weeks ago, he'd just decided for them.

She wants to be his, she says she loves him, so why can't he say the words. He eases back, a half-lidded and dazed look in his eyes and he reaches for her waist again, staring at how beautiful she is and knowing he's going to mess it up no matter what. "Come to the bedroom," he pleads.

Jake has lots of practice waiting out Cougar's silences, and she knows when he's dredging his brain to try and come up with things to say. It's why she doesn't prompt him, just lets him cling to her and press his face into her neck, why she just strokes his hair and leans against him and waits.

"Yeah, okay," she agrees, smiling gently at him, curious as to what he's going to say but willing to wait him out. "But you can't put my legs behind my ears tonight, okay, I gotta let 'em heal."

Cougar takes her into the bedroom, shooting her a dubious look for her comment because it's not like he wants to hurt her. He pats his hand on the bed to try and get her to sit down, wanting her to be comfortable because he needs to do this properly and English takes a long time for him.

Better that she's lying down, for it.

This is odd behavior, even for Cougar, but Jake is still riding the tail end of her tattoo high, and lord knows she'd follow Cougar to hell and back, so following him down the hall to their bedroom is an easy task. When prompted, she settles down on the bed, scooting up a little so that she's comfortable, crossing her ankles and resting her hands on her stomach.

She's ready, Cougs.

Cougar breathes in and out, trying to find a way to do this properly. He shakes his head and settles beside the bed where he can look her in the eye at her level, on both knees with his elbows on the bed, staring at her. He cups her cheek and stares down at her so fondly. "No sé cómo decir esto correctamente. Es mucho más fácil en español, incluso si usted no entiende. Tengo que probar," he says.

"Cásate conmigo."

She loves it when he looks at her like that, like she's precious and he's amazed that she's his. Lifting her hand to circle his wrist with her fingers, she watches him with an equally fond expression as he starts to speak, the lilting cadence of Spanish washing over her like a comforting wave. She gets a few words here and there, but most of it is Greek to her.

She does know what conmigo means, though. "What do you want me to do with you?" she asks, her smile turning rueful as she rubs her thumb over the thin skin of the inside of his wrist. She knows it must be frustrating to have her not understand. She's sorry.

He huffs out a fond sigh, knowing that she wouldn't understand all of it, but he had been hoping that she would get that much. He reaches out to slide their hands together, tangling their fingers. "Marry me," he says, not flinching or looking away from her eyes for a single second, because he wants to remember this moment forever.

"We are married," she points out, lifting her left hand and waggling her fingers.

It's obvious that Cougar's not joking, though, deadly serious as he stares into her eyes. She feels pinned, like a butterfly on a display board, having all that laser-like focus turned straight on her. "Wait, you mean like, for-real for-real?" she asks, her voice quiet, although she's fairly certain she knows the answer. Cougar doesn't joke when he's got that look on his face.

He nods, because he knows that eventually, she'll get it. "You got my fingers on your hips. I want a real ring, on your finger," Cougar says, switching to English because he thinks it's the only way they'll understand each other. "I want a priest and papers and you and me. Married. For real. Forever."

She's surprised he managed to get that much English out in one go, a veritable flood, as far as he's concerned.

"Carlos," she breathes, squeezing his hands tightly, feeling something swoop alarmingly in her chest. It swells up in her throat, choking her, and she's alarmed to find her eyes growing damp. She doesn't want to cry, now, but it seems her body has other ideas. "I guess you better get me a real ring, then," she says, her voice strained. "If it's gonna be forever."

He nods, his smile slowly growing on his lips as he realizes that she's saying yes to him. He feels a little emotional himself, because he'd never expected to feel this way or to marry, but here he is proposing to the only woman he's ever wanted like this, and she's saying yes.

She's going to be his wife. "JJ," he teases with such fondness. "Whatever ring you want. Yours."

"I just want you," she says, struggling to keep her composure before she gives in and lets the tears slide down her temples. "Oh, god fucking dammit!" And then she's laughing and crying at the same time, wiping at her face and shaking her head and reaching for him. "Come here already, kiss me."

Cougar grins as he leans up on the bed, darting in to kiss her, but what starts slow turns into something prolonged and happy, a lazy and perfect thing as he thinks about how he'll be able to proudly introduce her as his wife, in coming conversations. "Stay," is what he says firmly. "I want to buy you a ring."

Her arms lift to twine around his neck, holding on to him as he leans over her to kiss her, slow and languid and loving. It's stupid to say that there's a difference between the way he's kissed her before and the way he's kissing her now, but she swears it's true, it's different. She can feel it. They're going to get for-real married.

"What, right now?" Alarmed, she tightens her arms around his neck so he can't escape. "No, Carlito, stay!"

Carlito. He grins, broad as anything, and hurries back into her arms with a daring, teasing grin. "I'm your Carlito now?" he teases in reply, thinking that it's the best name he's ever given her to use. He kisses her lips with a loud smack. "What if I need to prove you're my fiancee? I will need a ring," he points out.

"Yes, you're my Carlito," she huffs, trying not to grin at him but finding herself unable to refrain from smiling at the look on his face. He looks so much younger when he grins at her like that, so happy and unselfconscious about it, it just lifts years off his face. "My Carlito, so you should stay here with me and keep kissing me, and not go off looking for a ring. I'm already wearing a ring. It'll do for now."

Edited 2016-07-23 02:51 (UTC)

He makes a show like he's thinking about it, but then he nearly vaults onto the bed to sit across from her on his knees, leaning in to cup her cheeks and kiss her again, as hard as he can without putting his hands somewhere it'll hurt, even if the temptation is great. "Jake Alvarez-Jensen," he tries it out with a soft hum. "Not bad."

Her hands twist in his shirt to hold him close, and she lets out a little noise into the kiss, not quite a moan but more than a hum. "Just Alvarez," she decides quietly. She kind of hates her dad. Letting go of his name won't be a hardship. Not to mention it'll be funny for them both to answer when someone yells Alvarez! across the yard when they're back on base. If they ever get back on base.

Something washes over him that he hadn't expected to feel, a possessiveness that's finally quieted down. Between his fingerprints on her hips and his name attached to hers, she really isn't going to be anyone else's. Still, he gently holds onto her gives her a worried look. "You want this, yes? You're not just settling for me because I asked first?"

If he were anyone else, Jake would be really rather furious right now. As it is, she arches her eyebrow pointedly, giving him a very flat look that he should know spells trouble. "I'm going to pretend you didn't just ask me that," she deadpans, but relents enough to lean in and kiss him. "Idiot man. I love you. Just you, nobody else. I agreed to marry you because I want to marry you, because I like being married to you, and I want to make it for-real real. Not just pretend for a cover, not just pretend for a job, for real."

"I want to make sure," he protests, thinking that she had made it clear that before, when they were just a team, she hadn't wanted anyone's advances, even his. He cups her neck and eases her onto her side so he can bear down with her for a kiss. "I want to marry you too," he promises. "More than anything, I want us to be together, no matter what happens with Max."

She lets him roll them over, snuggling up close and slipping her leg between his so she can tangle them together so he can't leave. "Is it bad that I kind of don't want to find him?" she asks after the kiss breaks, her voice small and unsure. "Like, yeah, of course I want to clear our names, of course I want to make him pay for what he did, of course I want to stop whatever megalomaniac scheme he's brewing, but..." She sighs, twisting slightly so that she's half-rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling and the weird-shaped water stain that she's grown so used to.

"I like our life here. I like being your Jackie and running our tours. I like going down to the market with you and making you translate for me because everyone talks too fast. I like our apartment." She twists back, looking at him with wide blue eyes that seem all the bluer for the tan that's darkened her skin. "Is that bad?"

Edited 2016-07-23 03:36 (UTC)

He shakes his head, because with all her words, she's managed to describe exactly how he's feeling. He knows and wants there to be some justice for the twenty-five little angels he will never see again, but he's managed to find himself a life here that makes sense for him. And now, Jake wants to marry him, for real, and they could just be normal.

He bows his head down and kisses her shoulder. "Not bad," he promises, "but can't be real. Not after what he did."

It would be so easy to just quietly give up searching, to really let themselves live a life here. But that would mean nobody is looking for Max, nobody is trying to stop him, nobody is trying to avenge what he's done.

She sighs. "It's not fair."

Life isn't fair, she learned that very young. But that doesn't mean she can't be upset about it.